tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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