Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
