Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
