you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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