after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.