you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
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we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
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Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?