I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
