I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
