I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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