So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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