Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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