it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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