He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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