You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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