I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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