I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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