break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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