So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize