He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
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She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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