Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
