He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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