I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
