You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize