About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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