are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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