can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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