I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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