I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
