I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
