You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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