Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize