Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
