We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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