Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
