I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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