With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
soo... how was my night?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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