god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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