Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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