I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
