So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
