We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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