Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
