I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
