making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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