Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
