CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
