If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
