i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
