I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
