We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
