Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
