I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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