I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
