C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
