Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
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BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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