he was CRYING into my vagina
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize