Having a random hookup so left but love u
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize