Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
