her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
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